Uncertainty

Wednesday I will undergo a life changing surgery, one that I had no idea was even an option a year ago, and stands to improve my quality of life drastically. I do worry out of uncertainty, but I remind myself that it gets me nowhere, and it only gives energy to a negative outcome. I am certain this is the best chance for me to have a better quality of life. I am certain I have the best medical team I could hope for. I am certain I have a supportive group of friends and family behind me. I am certain I am ready for this. I am certain there was a lot of things that had to fall just into the right place to get me here. Hindsight and foresight are important; lack thereof is ignorance. However, if I am anywhere but here and now, I am missing the most important part, the only part I have any control of, the present.

I find throwing clay on the wheel reinforces this for me; If I'm not paying attention to the very time and place where I am at, I lose control... the more I deviate from the present, the more drastic the chaos is and the harder it is to get back in control. If I don't catch it soon enough, chaos prevails and it collapses or spins out of control. If I neglect it or forget it, it will dry out before it was finished, or get damaged before I have a chance to fire it. The thing that is easy to forget though is the impermanence of the clay. Until there is something so drastic as firing, the clay can be slaked and wedged back to workability. It's not immediate and it takes effort to get it there, perhaps longer and more difficult than I would have thought, but it's there if I give it the effort though.

It helps to think this all through, and writing about it really clarifies and solidifies it for me; it lets me step back, evaluate and identify where I really am at. I will come out of this with a new lease on life; a rebirth of sorts with new freedoms that will take getting used to. A new leg on the journey, with greater potential than I've ever imagined. A new beginning...

The Consequence of Misinformation

It is a sad time in our country's history. The hardest struck sector of this economy are pauns in a game where 750 billion dollars in tax cuts for the wealthiest 2 percent is as important to the right as tax cuts for the middle class and unemployment for those hardest hit by this economy. It is unconscionable. President Obama is buckling under his conscience, not wanting to leave the down trodden and hard working to go without the help they so desperately need; Yet 3/4 of a trillion dollars in deficit spending is more important to the right. It truly is as the media has been saying: the right is holding the unemployed hostage to outright greed. A dollar given back to those most needing it is going to stimulate the economy. That money will go right back into the economy creating and supporting the jobs americans need. a dollar going back to the wealthiest 2% is going to be squirreled away until the economy improves if it does.

I wish the democrats would just let them expire and propose something like a stimulus bill for everyone equivalent to the amount the middle class would receive. there's more than one way to skin a cat. There is posturing on both sides, the votes on extending the bush tax cuts for everyone on the first quarter million, had no real chance of passing; but it illustrates how brazen the right is. If President Obama were to allow the Bush taxcuts expire, The right would present it as a tax hike. It's a sick game of rhetoric and misinformation.

I seem to remember a certain John McCain working across the aisle with one of my political heroes, Russ Feingold to reform Campaign finance. But McCain Has turned an about face on this very issue allowing 527's to misinform the electorate in his name. Not that the left has not used 527's; MoveOn.org represents many democratic points of view, but they also challenge the left to grow a back bone and not cave to the right. I can't remember an ad by MoveOn that wasn't factual. the right on the other hand distorts facts and mongers fear convincing their base of things that just are not true; death panels will decide your fate, democrats will take away your guns, Obama is not a U.S. citizen. I don't like to pass judgment on people who are ignorant or just plain unintelligent; However,the right convinces them of these lies and their 527 straw men flood the airwaves with sound bites and misinformation that plays into this; The wealthy then laugh all the way to the bank. 

It is sad; I often wonder how bad it will have to get before people realize figures like Glenn Beck, Sarah Palin, even George W. Bush are merely puppets of propaganda for anyone who can pay enough. Or that the right wing is not out for their best interests. 

the only hope I have for 2012 is that if Caribou Barbie gets the republican nomination, I think there are enough people on the right who just aren't that into the tea party; that they will realize just how clueless she is, and how important the role of president truly is. I shudder to think what may happen if she has her finger on the button. Misinformation however it is perpetuated is a web of lies. A government elected on lies has no accountability, and no reason to do right by their electorate.

Drill Baby Drill.... a relief well that is.

Drill baby drill- about the only time I'd say that is for the relief well on this BP Debacle, then once they cap off the mess they need to reinstate the ban on offshore drilling, be fined to the fullest extent of the law. environmental stewardship needs to be the foremost concern in any oil exploration. A moratorium must be put in place until all failsafes are testable and doubly redundant. They had no contingency for this situation as they claim the chance of such a thing happening was so remote.

I went to the gulf coast on spring break several years ago and there were oil rigs as far as you could see, they were pretty unsightly in an otherwise nice part of the country. BP claims they will pay any legitimate claim resulting from the spill. How far does that reach though? Tourism, commercial fishing, recreational fishing, lost land value and tax revenue, unforeseen public health risks. How do you put a price on the effect on the ecology? An effect that nobody can 100% neutralize, it's simply too vast. Exxon oil still clings to the shores of prince william sound; once it BP's mess makes landfall it will pose great threats to delicate ecosystems that are very important not only to the people of the gulf coast, but everyone. coastal wetlands are an endangered resource and this mess courtesy of BP is a wakeup call.

The ban on offshore drilling needs to be reinstated. More stringent regulations and inspection standards need put in place on existing oil rigs and a moratorium needs to be placed on any new drilling until all existing facilities are brought to a higher standard. All of which must be at the expense of the oil companies. they make plenty of money, they need to reinvest it in safer practices, not oil exec pensions and flashy commercials. It may not be popular, but the price of gas is too low, Fuel efficiency needs to be a priority and perhaps if it were $5-10 per gallon people would think twice before frivolously buying huge SUV's. they have their place, but not the daily commute. for renewable energy to become mainstream it must be economically competitive with Fossil fuels. To accomplish this I feel it would be proper to tax oil and fossil fuels to the extent that solar and wind are competitive, any revenue raised could be used to Subsidzeof renewable infrastructure and research While setting up a super fund for environmental cleanup and renewal for the next inevitable disaster. Don't get me started on nuclear...no nukes are good nukes.

Playing with Fire

I've always been intrigued by fire, and it awesome power. I've experienced first hand it's capacity to kill and destroy; I've also seen it's power to create; starting with very primitive bonfire firing of pottery before being introduced to that I was mainly restricted to my electric kiln, this past year I helped A friend fire his two chamber wood kiln, it was quite eye opening and a lot of work; I even was introduced to Don Reitz, and helped stoke his much larger train kiln. Lately however I'm feeling the desire to experience the same primal experience of harnessing such energy, to do so, I've begun exploring kiln building. When I first became interested in ceramics, my aunt Ellen sent me a book from when she was into the craft: Daniel Rhodes' KILNS. I was only eighteen then and it was pretty overwhelming at first. The book is pretty extensive of that day's kiln technology and many things haven't changed all that much, but other things are a little harder to obtain nowadays. I saw an old gas kiln at an estate sale and figured even if it's junk I'll learn something destroying it.

It's a little Dickinson muffle kiln, and I'm in the process of the trying to resurrect it as safely as I can without throwing too much money into it. So far it's been interesting trying to get advice since very few people want to take on the liability I had to drive quite a way but eventually found a knowledgeable person willing to resize the orifices to lp and give me some added insight. But so far in my testing I've only been able to determine my safety valve isn't all that safe and the regulator I'm using is giving me way too much pressure, that I haven't tried the main burners, only the pilot. the safety valve was pretty leaky which is perhaps the reason it was discarded. I tried the pilot and it was hesitant to stay lit, When I opened the valve for the rack, the water shot out of the manometer cutting the experiment short there. I kind of gave up then. But I may still play with it so long as anything I buy for it can be easily salvaged and used on a future kiln.

I'll try to update this as I go and perhaps get some pics of my "progress"

Capitalism: a love story

I'll be viewing this tonight and, as with all michael moore films, I doubt i'll be disappointed with it. Moore has always been entertaining while thought provoking and this is the latest installment of his fulfillment of a civic duty/discourse all too important today. I've taken up digging into things in the past and written op eds, picking at scabs that are rife with hypocrisy and malfeasence. Moore is an example for us all that we are our own most powerful source of information, clarity, and change if we are willing to just show up.

Unfortunately, we're pretty lazy with all the technology we have; it has done some great things for us but all too often, we don't have the attention span, or time to glean and absorb all the information that is important to us. So we leave that to others; they are busy informing, or misinforming, the masses with undocumented opinions from blowhards like glenn beck. It allows someone else to do the work for us, think for us, form opinions for us. Hell, they might as well vote for us since so few of us do that.

It's sickening to see some of the bullshit they cover and blatantly falsify only to be shown how idiotic they are being on comedy shows. Stewart, Colbert, Maher and others in many respects cover the news better than most serious news programs. That's why movies like this are so important today, it's the only way to get the information out there without it being spun out of control in the news cycle.

I'm sure I'll have more to write after seeing the movie tonight.

http://www.capitalismalovestory.com?bcpid=36912576001&bctid=34800298001

Art: An Essay on Mortality and Curiosity

It is no secret there is a drive to push the boundaries of what some consider good taste in the broad spectrum of art. So long as a piece it elicits some emotion it serves a purpose of clearing the mind to look at things in a different way if only for the split second a person first sees it.

If they are so repulsed to look away they cannot deny the power of the piece; I challenge though that those pieces could have even greater influence if the offensive aspects were veiled enough that you take time to wrap your head around that which is not spelled out for you, however offensive the overall subject is; the curiosity that passers-by exhibit at an accident site. It is a natural curiosity driven in my opinion by our fascination and veiled interest in our own mortality.

I grew up with a picture on the wall that was always interesting to me but I never truly understood until my adulthood. It was a colored pencil drawing of the main entrance to the Krematorium at Dachau prison camp. My grandfather was a paratrooper in World War II, and no doubt witnessed a great deal of atrocities. Not the least was the conditions and experiences during the liberation of that very camp.

My grandfather didn't speak much of his time at war and died of cancer when my father was 7 so there is little detail beyond what I've reconstructed here that I know for certain; My father has often speculated that the things his father experienced contributed to his early death. He witnessed walking skeletons of prisoners who allied soldiers would selflessly give food, and later would die as a result of overeating. I couldn't imagine the guilt of their best intention to help these starving people only to kill them. He witnessed prisoners being fed into the ovens and allied soldiers being ordered to execute German soldiers without trial.

I like to think this drawing elicits further curiosity by not being overly detailed. I've looked at it all throughout my life with different levels of awareness and ever increasing curiosity. I like to think a person is drawn to seek out other images and stories of Dachau. I like to think my grandfather, consciously or subconsciously, was moved in the same way when he acquired it. I hope to gain further insight into his involvement there and perhaps request his military records.

It reminds the person of the great atrocities the human race is capable of and the soldiers there to fight those atrocities. It shows our ability to cope through art: as a distraction as well as a documentation that says more than a photograph to me because it is filtered by a soldier's mind and an artist's eye.

The single detail that gives real gravity to the piece for me is the smoke rising from the chimney of the crematorium and how it varies from the rest of the piece. It is smudged and dark. A part of me says in all likelihood it is cigarette ash, while another says there would be some poetic homage to the many killed there to use soot or ash from the furnace. Whether that is the case or not, it elicits that thought, that possibility and, in so doing, reminds the person it's not about the ash on the paper, but the ash remains at Dachau.